Hillary Clinton’s speech was a powerful, primal first and it blew me away | Xeni Jardin

rm | July 30, 2016 | Trending | No Comments

I disagree with her on many issues. But the impact of seeing a woman accept the nomination reached a part of me deeply wounded by sexism, and made me weep

Sometimes we look to the internet hoping to be seen and heard by the world. Other times, we see in some strangers tweets our own experience. We see ourselves reflected, and it makes us feel less alone, and whole, when we didnt know we were missing anything moments before.

On Twitter Thursday night, I saw an image that mirrored my own experience of watching Hillary Clinton accept the DNC nomination for president of the United States. It was a photo of a little girl gazing at a regal woman in a white pantsuit.

For so many women and girls watching, her public, historic speech was a powerful, primal, private first. It was a first for that toddler, and its a first for me. Someone like us is up there. The glass ceilings in our own lives feel thinner today, if not entirely shattered. Todays little girls will grow up knowing they are complete human beings, equal to and possessing the same innate dignity and value as any boy or man.

I wasnt prepared to feel all this gratitude, all this grief. Sadness that something so simple had finally happened, after being denied to so many for so long. Im old enough to have followed Clintons career for almost as many decades as shes had one. I never identified myself as a fan or supporter. I disagree with her take on many issues, war and whistleblowers among them. I felt the Bern, and had hoped to cast my vote for Bernie Sanders. I was surprised at how this moment changed me.

It wasnt her policy details that moved me to tears, though it was so nice to finally hear a candidate share anything resembling a plan, after wall-to-wall coverage of Trumps empty bombast and putdowns. It wasnt the contrast between Clinton, a sane and competent Washington veteran with decades of experience near the top, and her orange-skinned reality TV opponent, a man who routinely derides women while seeking to become president. What overwhelmed me inside was something quiet; something Id never felt before in quite this way.

Hillarys speech was like watching the moon landing. I dont remember anyone ever telling me that a woman could never be president. But thats how deeply sexism and less-than are woven into American culture. My culture. The understanding that women matter less, that were capable of less, and that all our achievements can be calculated in husbands, babies, hotness or bra size its everywhere. Its what we breathe.

And suddenly last night, right there on our screens: we breathed new air. I couldnt know before I witnessed this moment of political theater, in which Clinton even quoted Hamilton, how the presence of a woman on stage would lift up a part of me that has always been downtrodden. Seeing this fellow woman, with whom I share the experience of surviving a culture, a government and an economy that treats women as 70 cents to a mans dollar … it felt like something broken inside me spontaneously mended.

Xeni Jardin (@xeni) July 29, 2016

Oh my god they’re treating a woman like me as if she is a complete human being I’m weeping

My response as a woman was not unique, as evidenced by tweets popping up alongside mine. I read tweets expressing the same unanticipated lightning bolt of feminist wokeness from women like me and men around the world.

Xeni Jardin (@xeni) July 29, 2016

This is wild. They’re introducing the mythos narrative of our First Heroine. A woman POTUS. As a woman watching this — my soul is exploding

Xeni Jardin (@xeni) July 29, 2016

WE HAVE NEVER HAD THIS. WE HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS. IT IS LIKE A MOON LANDING FOR WOMEN. https://t.co/M97iyNbp9r

America didnt know how wed feel watching Neil Armstrong plop down to the lunar surface. We didnt know the astronauts boots would land in dust. We didnt know what space would smell like; we couldnt know what wed never touched, what had never before been witnessed with human flesh. Wed seen the moon from far away, all of us and all our ancestors, all of humanity. Of course we knew the moon. But wed never landed there.

On the night of 28 July 2016, on my little phone, I watched a woman assume a position of maximum respect and responsibility, and receive respect from others for her achievements and for her character, for her judgment and for her readiness to make decisions and take actions for the benefit of all.

Xeni Jardin (@xeni) July 29, 2016

A woman is the center of the world’s attention at this moment and her sexuality and desirability as a sex object has nothing to do with it

Men, you cant know what its like to always navigate the world knowing that your ability to navigate the world means, in part, charming or pleasing or deferring to or avoiding sexual inappropriateness from men. The countless little invisible slights, the horrible attacks, the 30 cents missing from every earned dollar. We all know about all of that, not that the world cares, but Thursday night a spotlight shone on something so powerful that it was invisible. The understanding that only men are American presidents. Perhaps no longer.

When Clinton spoke of planting seeds in a garden youll never see, I thought about the kid in that tweeted photo. Children like her have never known what its like to live in America with anyone but a black man as president. Whatever happens in the 2016 election, and anything can, these children now know that its perfectly normal for girls to grow up and take a shot at being president, too.

What will the trickle-down effect be? Will fewer girls and women suffer abuse at home, at work, in life, now that theres a powerful new hope for us, and a sky without limit? How will this change what it means to be a man in America, and what little boys believe about girls, growing up?

I dont know. Im just happy for everything thats growing in that garden Ill never see.

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